Family, and then Family

It was early on in my adulthood that I realized that nobody has a Beaver Cleaver family. And, you don't get to pick your family. I"m not suggesting you'll find whacko's in your nuclear family necessarily but if you look in the extended blood family of any one you know you're going to find some serious weirdo's. Sometime soon I want to address the wonderful and wierd wacko's in my family (that'll make people nervous) but, today I want to talk about some of the absolute treasures I have. Carol and I met my cousin Vicki and her funny and fun husband Dr. Roger in Tucson. They were here from Florida at a convention and we drove down to see them. Vicki and her sister Deb are probably as close to sisters as I ever got. It is an absolute sin that I haven't seen Vick in 7 years, but we live a long way away from one another and Deb lives just as far in the other direction. So, it was a wonderful occasion to get caught up and we got caught up. I told her about my wacko's and she told me about hers. I had more.

Vicki should get the Clara Barton Humanitarian Award this year. She is my hero. She and Deb lost both parents after caring for them with love and devotion for the last few years. They died within a short time of each other. Uncle Bill was 90, Aunt Avis was 84. Vicki said her Mom just didn't want to live without Daddy. And during this same tragic time Dr. Roger, her devoted husband of decades, has been battling his own scary, physical demons, the nature of which is his business, but something that makes me wince. But, he tells me the prognosis is good. And to top it off Deb has battled against that bitch, breast cancer recently. Also with a good prognosis. Sometimes, I know Vicki had to throw her voice to the sky and scream, "Why me?"

Losing your parents is something everyone faces but when they have been the rock and the foundation of the life you have built, it is very tough. Siblings grow up and move away or marry people that distance them from the family but parents stick with you through thick and thin. It is a desperately lonely pain in the heart when they are gone. My and Vicki's time of life can be hard. Our children, while loving and around, are married and out of the house building their own lives, our parents are gone and no longer need us. We stand alone looking around, then gather our spouse into our arms knowing that without this loved one, this one last bastion, we are alone.