Today that cubicle don't look so bad!

When I was young I worked in a Caterpillar factory building big graders and heavy equipment. Then I went to work for a company called A.E.Staley Manufacturing. Through a set of circumstances beyond my control I was moved from being an hourly union worker in the plant to being a salaried employee. This meant I worked for the company. I was a company man. I was given the opportunity to climb the corporate ladder. Which I did. One rung at a time for almost fifteen years. As each year passed I became more and more convinced that I just wasn't built to be a corporate man. Be in the office with suit and tie each morning at 8am. Work in the office until 4:30pm. One half hour for lunch.

Finally I became the almost perfect example of the Peter Principle which states that in a corporate environment an employee will be promoted until he or she reaches a level of incompetence. In other words, going up the ladder until you reach a job you are not good at therefore you will not be promotable and stuck there forever. Mr Peter said that this is why upper middle management that has been there for a while is usually incompetent. I don't think I reached that level of incompetence but I certainly reached a position that I didn't like and had a boss I couldn't stand. This is when I read the writing on the wall realizing that unless something highly unusual happened I was stuck there forever. Other cubicle dwellers in that department had been there most of their working lives.

So I quit, moved to Phoenix and became an independent entrepreneur. Something I turned out to be good at. But, now with Weed King, and with Amanda gone from the office with me as her substitute, and the phones ringing off the hook and Carol and I collapsing onto the couch every night, I look back and think;

If I'd stayed in that cubicle, I could be retired right now. With a pension. No worries. Old and fat and lazy. Watch the daytime soaps. Go to the Mall to walk two laps. Maybe belong to the Elks Club and go to the Friday night fish fry. Have little yip yip ankle biters with fuzzy coats and precious names. Let them sleep in bed with us. Eat popcorn for dinner. Talk incessantly about my latest ailment. Show people my surgical scars. Wonder why the Kids never invite me to dinner with their friends. Sleep late in the morning because there is no reason to get up. Wear a spot in the favorite chair until it is shiny with use.....................

Ah, never mind, the phone is ringing.